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Hank's Dirty Laundry
Hank's Dirty Laundry is the 17th episode of the second season of King of the Hill. It aired on March 1, 1998. The episode was written by Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger, and directed by Shaun Cashman. Billy West and Lynne Thigpen guest star. Synopsis Hank reacts with horror when he notices Peggy hanging his underwear on a clothesline for all the world to see. Peggy explains she was forced to do so because the dryer had broken down and Hank agreed the time had come to replace the old unit. He and his family travel to the Mega Lo Mart, where Hank ended up lecturing a salesman on the benefits of purchasing a propane-fueled dryer. Peggy and Hank eventually settle on a Spinmore brand dryer but when it comes time to make the purchase, Peggy convinces her husband it is in their best interest to pay for the dryer by applying for the store's credit card. But the salesman informs the Hills that their application has been denied due to bad credit, which surprises Hank who declares is it incorrect and an error. Hank discovers that the source of his problem is a dispute at Arlen Video, which claims Hank owes forty dollars for a tape that was never returned and reported it to a credit agency. At the store, a clerk explains that computer records indicate the film in question is Cuffs & Collars. Hank emphatically denies ever renting the tape and is horrified when he discovers it's an adult title. Meanwhile, Bobby mistakes his parents preoccupation with the matter as preparations for his upcoming birthday. Peggy pressures her husband to pay the forty dollars so they can buy the dryer. But Hank refuses, again insisting he never rented the tape. Dale states that Hank has been pulled into a systematic computer network and government involved conspiracy that he calls "The Beast", designed to target, harass, and spy on citizens with computers and other network technology. Hank quickly dismisses Dale until he get a call from an adult video distribution service who got his information on a mailing list from Arlen Video. His name then ends up on a pornography mailing list and adult videos and paraphernalia begins arriving in the Hill's mail in large quantities. An outraged Hank gathers the materials and makes an attempt to return them to the Arlen Post Office, but a postal worker insists the source of the problem is the company from whom Hank first "purchased" pornography and he must contact them. At Dale's suggestion, him and Hank travel to the Arlen Municipal Garbage Dump where they attempt to quickly bury the adult materials, knowing they are breaking the law. When a police officer arrives at the dump to investigate the illegal dumping, Dale drives away in Hank's truck and leaves Hank alone to deal with the officer. The police officer tells Hank that it's against the law to bury the items when he notices a petroleum based byproduct in the Superglide lubricant and in the batteries of the vibrator, which Hanks insists is a "personal wand massager". After the officer states it is being disposed of illegally, he demands to see Hank's license. Hank hesitates and runs off, making the pursuing officer slip by spraying the Superglide on the ground. In a desperate last attempt to clear his name and gain public recognition of the issue, Hank creates a petition that urges citizens to boycott Arlen Video, only drawing further attention to his predicament. Hank takes "The Beast" to court by suing Arlen Video, primarily out of principle and to clear his name. A short time later, Hank receives a delivery of pornographic tapes. An attached note, signed anonymously, states that, "the answer is in the tapes." Hank views the tapes, confident the answer does indeed lie within. When the case is heard at the Arlen County Court, Hank testifies to a judge he did not rent the tape. To prove his case, Hank displays Polaroid photos he took of scenes from the movies. He points out that the star of Cuffs & Collars, Fernanda Valley, made a triumphant return to her profession and got a tattoo reading "I love Charlie Sheen " on the occasion of her eighteenth birthday, which is visible in Cuffs & Collars. Valley turned eighteen two weeks after Hank supposedly rented Cuffs & Collars. Therefore Hank could not have rented a movie that technically did not exist at the time Arlen Video said he did. The judge agrees and rules in Hank's favor. As the court is adjourned, someone is shown taking the pornography videos and leaving a note saying "CONGRATULATIONS, A FRIEND," who is revealed to be Bill. Back at Mega Lo Mart, Hank's credit is approved, allowing him to buy the dryer. At home, Bobby is lamenting that no one remembered his birthday. Luanne consoles Bobby by saying they still have a whole month to remember, prompting Bobby to admit that the whole thing was a ruse. As Hank comes home with the dryer, an overjoyed Bobby comes out to greet him, convinced it is his birthday present. Quotes Dale: "I'll be next" Characters *Hank Hill *Peggy Hill *Bobby Hill *Luanne Platter *Dale Gribble *Jeff Boomhauer *Bill Dauterive *Buck Strickland *Buckley (cameo) *Melinda (cameo) *Matt (cameo and only appearance) *Judge (cameo and only appearance) *Clerk (cameo and only appearance) *Dryer Salesman (cameo and only appearance) Trivia *Many fans believe that the reason why Cuffs & Collars was on Hank's name in Arlen Video, was because Bill was the one who checked it out under Hank's name, even though Hank proved in the episode that the tape was rented on a date before the tape's official release. *The song where Peggy sings in the car is Playing with the Queen of Hearts by Juice Newton. *Even though Cuffs & Collars is the only film seen in the episode, there were more that Bill let Hank borrow which are called Jail Bait, Hung Jury and Illegal Entry. *When Hank is watching the movies he closes the door and locks it, yet Peggy is able to open it from the other side. *The ending song is a funky-sultry-sexy version of the Theme song *When Peggy sees Hank shake his pen, she thinks he is masturbating. *Luanne is drawn wearing pants later in the episode because it was written that she pulls keys out of her pocket. Her standard outfit does not have pockets. *Hank's revelation would imply that Fernanda Valley was in pornography when she was 17 and a minor. *The name of Fernanda Valley is most likely a play on the name of the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles, which was the center of the pornographic film industry in the 1970s and 80s. *Later in the series in The Witches of East Arlen, the Hill's are seen shopping at Red Carpet Video. It's assumed they were no longer customers at Arlen Video after the credit incident. *In the episode, "Hank's Dirty Laundry", the Hill residence is shown as being located at 320 Rainey, Arlen, TX 78701. '78701' is really the default standard U.S. Postal Service zip code for Austin, Texas. *Originally, the scene in which Peggy peeks in on Hank as he watches the porno tapes was going to be longer and more graphic. In the original script, the pen Hank was taking notes with was to stop writing, so he would shake it up to get it to work again. However, this would have been at the moment Peggy was peeking in (from behind), so she would think he was masturbating. An animatic of this can be seen on the Season Two DVD. *This is the first episode where Dale refers to himself as Rusty Shackleford. Category:Episodes Category:Season 2 Category:Episodes that involve Crime Category:Episodes starring Hank